Procreation Science - A Misconception
by ScorplinginTraining
Summary: This is an AU 'what if' scenario based on events in 2.13 "White Out". Think of a life altering scientific experiment our favorite genius wants to undertake with the woman of his dreams. Before he realizes he's completely in love with her. It's just a little Waige fluff for those of us starving for it!
1. Chapter 1

**PROCREATION SCIENCE -**

 **A Misconception**

 **AN: I'm finding it hard to write with the space memories hanging over us, so I dug this idea out of a backlog of things I considered writing and never got the chance to for one reason or other. This is a fic I wanted to write waaaay back when, after a comment Paige made to Walter in the beginning of Episode 2.13 "White Out". I never wrote it because it became AU almost immediately with the advent of speed dating, Linda and Tim. It deviates pretty far from canon now, so I don't know if a continuation is feasible. Let me know your thoughts.**

 **This starts immediately after the events of White Out where the gang is camping on the roof of the garage.**

Walter gave up trying to sleep. It was no use.

The irony didn't escape him. Cabe refused to share a tent with Sylvester because of the mathematician's tendency to snore, but the sounds coming from the sleeping Homeland agent were almost causing the tent walls to vibrate.

In addition to the snoring, Walter's own busy thoughts kept buzzing around in his head like a hive of angry bees. There would be no rest for the genius that night, so he made the decision to sneak downstairs to the lab and work on a project he had going.

One thought in particular kept plaguing him more than all the others combined and he needed to shut it out by concentrating on something else. Anything else. Before the idea could continue to take hold and a plan could continue to take shape. Or worse, before he could say something stupid to the other individual required to approve the idea and participate in the plan. He didn't even want to imagine how that conversation would go.

Walter waited another few minutes until he was sure everyone else was still asleep, mentally evaluating each tent for silence or the murmurs and rustlings associated with sleeping. When he was satisfied everyone else was down for the night, he rolled out of his covers and crawled toward the tent flap. Slowly and carefully, he eased the zipper open doing his best to keep the noise to a minimum.

When he emerged onto the roof, he was startled to see a figure painted in the glowing amber hues and flickering indigo shadows of the dying firelight over by the fire pit. His heart rhythm kicked up and he felt a little breathless. He tried to blame it on the surprise of finding someone else awake. But even through his denial, he was struck again by how incredibly stunning she was. Normally he wasn't one to appreciate or even notice beauty, but it occurred to him if all art resembled her in that moment, he might just begin to see the value and start a collection of his own.

"Hey," Paige whispered, a lopsided little smile playing at her lips.

"Oh, uh. Hey," Walter answered quietly, "I didn't think anyone else was up."

Her smile grew as he made his way over to her. She patted the space beside her invitingly. "Couldn't sleep either? I think Sly and Cabe are having a snoring contest. At this point there's not a clear winner, but you have to give them credit for trying to outdo each other."

He smirked as he sat beside her, leaning his back against the ice chest full of the now rapidly melting snow they brought back for Ralph. "It's different when we're all on an airplane. The engine noise drowns them out pretty effectively. But there's no way I can sleep through all this."

"It's a hazard of being a mom too. I've been a light sleeper since Ralph was born."

"I can see where that fits with evolutionary biology. Always listening for your child's cries or any disturbance around them, I mean." Walter swallowed and frowned down at his hands in his lap. Their conversation stirred up that same irritatingly persistent thought bringing it to the forefront of his mind again.

And to make matters worse, Paige asked, "What's going on in that head of yours? You look like something is bothering you."

"Oh, uh, it's-it's nothing," he returned.

"You might as well tell me, you know. What else do we have to do until morning?"

Could he tell her what he'd been thinking? What would be gained from it? And wasn't he just considering the awkwardness of this very conversation? But he made up his mind to say it anyway. Getting it out in the open might purge it from his thoughts, especially if she was horrified by the suggestion. Walter hesitated another minute, agonizing a little longer over the phrasing. He started with, "What you said to me this morning about wanting a sibling for Ralph got me to thinking. And I haven't been able to let it go since."

Looking confused, Paige said, "What? What brilliant idea did you get by me saying that?"

Unable to contain the words any longer, he blurted, "Ever since M-Megan… I never thought about it before that. It never even occurred to me. But when you said Ralph needed a brother or sister and-and I thought about what my sister meant to me… W-well, um, I never considered being a parent. But my parents will never have another chance for a grandchild if I don't reproduce and… I thought maybe? Is it too crazy?"

Snorting softly trying to control her mirth, Paige asked, "Is _what_ too crazy? You aren't making sense. Spit it out."

Walter took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "There is a way to provide both a sibling for Ralph and-and to ensure DNA similar to Megan's survives."

Her eyes widened, so he could tell she was finally catching on. "Walter," she rasped, "Do you mean…?"

"We could have a child together. Yes. If-if you were amenable, that is."

Abruptly, Paige stood up and held out her hand for his. He paused for just a beat before taking her hand and letting her pull him up and toward the door to the garage. Walter still inexplicably enjoyed the pleasant sensations he experienced when they held hands and he gladly followed her down the ramp and all the way into his loft.

Looking a little wild-eyed, Paige turned to him and hissed, as if the others were listening through the concrete of the rooftop, "You can't be serious, can you?"

Feeling self-conscious, he shifted his weight to his other foot and replied, "It was only a thought. And I did ask if it was crazy. I guess it was?" He looked closely at her expression to see if he could discern what she was thinking. If there was ever a time he needed an interpreter, it was now. But his usual Cliff Notes were pacing in front of him, a frown marring her features.

"How much have you thought this through, Walter? You said it was a bad idea to be a single mom to two kids, remember?"

"That's one of the questions I contemplated, yes. But it would be different this time. With-with me. We're, um, good friends. I can honestly say you are one of my best friends. And I would never abandon a child if our relationship disintegrated. Even though I can't imagine that scenario. I would make sure I was legally bound to provide for all of you, including Ralph, to-to give you all the reassurance you would need." He rubbed at the back of his neck in agitation when she just stared at him in disbelief. "It's okay if you think it's a dumb idea. We can forget it."

Suddenly Paige was blinking back tears and Walter was feeling something close to panic. "No one has ever made that kind of promise to me before," she whispered, her lower lip quivering. "The idea isn't dumb. It _is_ a bit crazy… But it's also appealing for several reasons. I'm just in shock. A-a little bit. Sorry. Give me a minute, okay?"

She turned around and took several deep breaths obviously trying to steady herself. When she turned back to face him, she brushed her hair out of her eyes and her hand trembled slightly.

Focusing on the floor, Paige quietly asked, "If. And I mean _if_ we do this, would we be... making the baby in a lab? Or would we be doing this the… old fashioned way?"

Face immediately flaming, Walter's wide eyes darted to anywhere that wasn't Paige. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought extensively about the 'old fashioned' method. He forced out a reply, around the stiffness of his lips, "That would be entirely up to you. Whichever way you-you'd be more comfortable doing it, um... I mean, this. The-the idea. You-you know..." His voice trailed off.

She smiled with amusement for a moment, then she stated thoughtfully, "I'd want to do a cleanse. Start eating right. Visit my doctor to get a clean bill of health."

Feeling more comfortable discussing this part of the planning, Walter met her gaze and piped up, "I'd want to make an appointment to see my doctor as well. If nothing else, I need genetic screening to make sure I don't have the marker for MS. And you'd also want to go to the dentist. Getting your teeth cleaned causes a shower of bacteria. You shouldn't subject a fetus to that. And you should start taking folic acid and prenatal vitamins too. I did extensive research in the helicopter on the way back from Antarctica while everyone else was sleeping…"

"Oh, so this was a random thought? Something you didn't consider too much?" Paige asked mockingly, shaking her head at him.

"I was bored on the flight," he argued, but had the grace to look a little sheepish. Then he reluctantly admitted, "I-I couldn't get the idea out of my head."

Grinning up at him, she couldn't resist needling him a little, "Which method of conception did you discover was best when you did all your research? You must have a scientific opinion one way or the other."

Staring at his shoes as if they held all the answers, he stuttered, "I-, uh, it-it…" He gulped then continued, "It is much easier on the, um, mother… to conceive naturally. To have a test tube pregnancy, you have to take artificial hormones to prepare the womb. They, uh, have some unpleasant side effects…"

Stepping into his personal space, running one finger slowly down the placket of buttons on his shirt, and listening to his breath catch, she teased, "And I can think of a couple of _pleasant_ side effects of conceiving naturally."


	2. Chapter 2

**PROCREATION SCIENCE -**

 **A Misconception**

 **Chapter 2**

 **AN: Ok. My doors are officially blown off! Thank you, thank you, thank you! To everyone who reviewed. Who knew writing a seriously AU idea I had over a year ago would get such a response? And to those of you wonderful enough to endorse me on Tumblr? *falls down in supplication* I'm not wooorthy! You are seriously the best!**

 **I hope you like the second chapter as much. I laughed myself silly a few times writing it. This situation is SO beautifully awkward. And I know it's more than a bit OOC, but I'm having fun with it anyway. I hope you can look past that and enjoy it too. Tell me if you want more.**

 **P.S. You might have noticed I changed the name. It was seriously ticking me off I couldn't put 2.0 in the title and I missed a perfect opportunity for word play before, so I thought, 'what the heck?'**

 **Without further blathering, here it is...**

 **oOoOoOoOoOo**

She was out of her mind. A total raving lunatic.

There was no other explanation for her even considering Walter's 'idea'. Having another kid with a man she wasn't even dating? Bananas!

Paige had always wanted more children. After all, Ralph was the single biggest blessing in her life. She'd been in a relationship with his father, and look how well that turned out. There were no guarantees in life.

Still, it was completely bonkers.

It was okay when 'Project Genius 2.0' was just an abstract concept. It was even kind of fun to think about when she was fighting boredom on an endless flight back from saving the world some place or other. As long as Paige was only _mentally_ knitting baby clothes, she was just fine. She could dismiss it as a fantasy of sorts.

It got a little more real when she started taking supplements and modified her diet in the event they might actually be serious about this… 'endeavor' at some point. Giving up her shot of caffeine in the mornings was the hardest adjustment, but Walter volunteered to switch to decaf too and decided he would follow her same nutritional guidelines in solidarity. His support made sticking with the dietary restrictions somewhat easier. Plus, it meant they were having meals together more often these days. When asked, they told the other team members they'd issued each other a challenge to see who could eat 'clean' for the longest amount of time. If Paige tried very, very hard, she could almost convince herself that was all she and Walter were doing.

Things passed over into surreal when she saw her doctor and began to keep charts on the back of her bathroom door, hidden under her carefully positioned bathrobe to keep Ralph's curious eyes from finding them. If they were really going to go through with this, she would eventually need to have a conversation with her son to explain why the older genius was hanging around after… bedtime on a semi-regular basis. But not yet. Just in case she woke up and realized this whole thing was only a bizarre dream.

She was still waffling six weeks later. At least a dozen times a day she would have second and third and eighth thoughts, but then she would see Walter sitting at his desk and his eyes would meet hers across the ten feet or so of space separating them. He would give her this _look_. One that said 'I really want to make a new intellectually superior human with you' and it would scramble what was left of her brain. And picturing a precious, tiny baby with an uncontrollable riot of dark curls and intelligent brown eyes, she would grin like the fool she was and add to the 'pro' column of her list of oh, so compelling reasons why she really wanted to do this. _Needed_ to do this. No matter how crazy it made her seem.

And in the wee hours of the morning when she was freaking out a little and couldn't sleep due to all the swirling thoughts, Paige could admit to herself that a very small part of her just wanted to see what sex with Walter would be like. Sure, the most important reasons for doing this involved the joy of becoming a new mom all over again and giving her son a sibling, someone who would be there for him as he grew and aged. Someone who would look up to him and depend on him. She never had that growing up and she really wanted it for Ralph.

Those were the reasons she would some day be able to say out loud anyway. But somewhere deep, deep down in the bottom of the farthest corner of her heart, a quiet voice was steadily humming, 'Let's Get It On.'

And when no one else was around, the looks she caught from him then? Ho, boy. They had nothing to do with procreation and everything to do with fornication. Walter's deep, dark eyes would track her movements and all but smolder and she knew he was thinking of the consummation phase of the project. Imagining her au natural. Which made her wild inside.

He would usually follow up those interactions with bouts of adorable nervousness, all contrite and stuttering to her about work things or questions about Ralph. He was almost over-the-top considerate and damn near polite. It was more than a tad scary.

And then sometimes, like the current moment, Paige's evil shoulder devil would whisper in her ear. And she would start to worry because Walter valued efficiency above all else. What if he was 'efficient' in bed? Would it all just be biology to him? Get in, get on, get off, make a kid, get out? Perversely, she could picture the grin on his face when he finished in ninety seconds flat, hit a button on his stop watch and said, "See? Maximum efficiency!" Leaving her to scream in frustration. Well, the whole point was pregnancy, right? Not gratification.

She rested her elbows on her desk and dropped her face into her palms. Obsessing over these things was wreaking havoc on her concentration. She was so far behind on paperwork, it would take a team of archeologists years to dig her out from under the piles of forms scattered on her usually orderly workspace. At least she was pretty sure she wouldn't get fired. Since her boss wanted her to be his baby mama and all. Urgh!

A hysterical bubble of giggles almost erupted just as Walter approached holding a file folder. Oh, great. More paperwork.

Except it wasn't.

And damn her traitorous heart for pounding every time he stood close these days.

He was standing beside her with that Walter-like look of confusion on his face as if she was a particularly tricky equation he couldn't quite solve. Lucky for her he happened to love math?

He started off with, "You look perturbed." His position next to her and his words had her thinking back to the conversation they had just before they kissed the first time. Paige suddenly recalled with perfect clarity the firm press of his lips on hers and the all too brief stroke of his tongue.

She could feel a hot blush creep up her face. Was her reaction even close to normal? Maybe this always happens to a healthy woman when she goes nearly seven years without getting any action. It wasn't a dry spell; it was full on Death Valley time. And the anticipation, hell just the _possibility_ of… ending that drought not only had her biological clock ticking like mad, that time piece was strapped to enough C4 to bring down a city block. And the count was down to seconds.

Walter would more than likely reconsider the whole thing if she tackled him to the ground and started removing his clothes. With her teeth. So, she tried to bring herself under some semblance of control. After taking a Lamaze deep breath, and exhaling so, so slowly she was able to answer him with just a hint of huskiness to her voice, "Oh, I'm okay. Just, you know, busy. Is that another invoice you need me to send out?" All the while she was thinking, 'You really shouldn't stand so close or I won't be responsible for my actions. Tick-Tock.' Paige was proud she sounded nearly normal though.

Taking a fast look around to make sure everyone else was busy and out of earshot, Walter replied softly, "No. My, uh, lab results came back. I'm clear." He did another quick scan of the room before adding, "I also had a lawyer draw up preliminary papers for when… if-if this, uh, venture is successful."

Her jaw dropped and she just blinked up at him. Oh, poop. No more physical obstacles remaining then? It was down to her yay or nay. No pressure.

They both jumped about three feet when Toby asked curiously, "What are you two whispering about over there? From the look on Ms. Dineen's face, I'd say it's a lot more interesting than my latest copy of JAMA. Care to share with the rest of the class?"

"NO!" They both said in almost perfect unison.

Paige slapped a hand down on the folder Walter put on her desk and she slid it under the nearest pile. She knew she couldn't leave it unguarded for a second now, not even to go to the bathroom. Stupid observant shrink.

Ignoring Toby, Walter mouthed, "Talk later." And he casually strolled back to his desk as if he hadn't just dropped a life altering decision right in her lap along with that innocent looking folder.


	3. Chapter 3

**PROCREATION SCIENCE -**

 **A Misconception**

 **Chapter 3**

 **AN: I'm on a roll. These chapters are just writing themselves. Thanks again for the lovely reviews. They make me smile. (and keep me writing!) Happy Scorpion Monday!**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

Maybe he should have brought flowers or some other token. Should he leave and go get something? Not for the first time, he wished there was a protocol for this sort of thing.

No. Buying flowers would make him even later and it was illogical anyway. This wasn't romantic and it wasn't a date. Not that he would know romance if it smacked him up beside the head.

Just like there was no rational reason he spent a ridiculous amount of time grooming and deciding what shirt to wear. He finally picked the deep red one because she said it was a good color on him. Once. Over a year ago. Stupid. What difference did it make? They were just friends. Coworkers.

Who decided to have a child together.

No big deal. Mammals reproduced all the time. It was natural. It was science. It was the only way for a species to survive.

The problem was he was still having all those same perplexing feelings. They were stronger than ever. He'd never been intimate with someone he cared about before. It was a risk. He was concerned having intercourse would ruin their comfortable dynamic. Losing her for any reason was not an option he was willing to entertain.

Yet their relationship had survived kissing. Even though he remembered every detail of that kiss. _Way_ too often to be healthy. It would be okay. It had to be okay.

Walter O'Brien spent a full six minutes pacing around in the hall outside Paige Dineen's apartment muttering to himself. He thought he probably resembled a schizophrenic stalker. His insides were all jumpy like the times he and Sylvester stayed up all night chugging diet soda and working on projects together. He hadn't had anything containing caffeine in seven weeks and two days, but he sure felt highly-caffeinated.

This was it. The point of no return. After he and Paige made the final decision to become parents together, this was the first weekend that her cycle was at the right point and Ralph had plans to stay with Sylvester. Something about a Super Fun Guy binge watching and gaming marathon. Utter nonsense, but it hardly mattered. The boy would be out of the apartment until Paige picked him up on Sunday. Which meant…

Taking a deep, fortifying breath and squaring his shoulders, Walter forced himself to knock on Paige's door. Some little part of him wished she would call the whole thing off.

The door opened almost instantly revealing a brightly smiling Paige. He was profoundly relieved to see her warm smile and to find she was dressed normally in a soft, pink sweater and gray pants. Was he expecting her to answer the door in the nude? Walter would have passed out. Or died on the spot.

"Hi, Walter. Come on in. I've got dinner going if you're hungry." She stepped to the side and gestured for him to enter.

Hungry? The smell of the simmering organic turkey chili, usually one of his favorites from their 'clean' diet, was making him feel queasy. He didn't think he could force a morsel past the dryness in his throat anyhow.

"Put your bag by the sofa over there. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Okay," Walter nodded vaguely as he dropped his duffle by the couch. His body was cycling between too hot and clammy cold like he had a broken thermostat.

Paige paused on her way to the kitchen. "Are you alright? You're really pale." Gently, she touched his arm and he flinched away as if she'd stuck him with a pin. Her pleasant expression fell from her face.

No, no, no. He didn't mean it. He just didn't know how to do this.

She took a step back, but instead of seeing contempt or disgust like he feared, he saw compassion. And Walter could breathe a bit better. Softly she said, "We don't have to go through with it. It's not too late to back out. If you're this uncomfortable, maybe we shouldn't."

"C-could I just get some water?"

He could see she was upset. Her shoulders were sagging slightly, and she gave him a sad little smile before she went to get him a drink. Walter needed to fix this.

He took a couple of hasty gulps. Then he said, "I-I want to," and when she looked at him skeptically, he reiterated, "I _do_. I'm just really, uh…"

"Nervous? Overwhelmed? Flat out scared?" Paige supplied.

Walter frowned then nodded. That assessment sounded pretty accurate to him.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm feeling all that too. I understand, believe me. At least ten times today I've thought seriously about calling you and cancelling. It's a big deal."

"I, uh, don't want it to change things," he blurted.

"I can guarantee things are going to change. Being a parent changes absolutely everything."

"I'm not talking about being a parent. I-I don't want to mess up our, uh, friendship," Walter said then cringed a little.

"Our relationship will evolve too, Walter. But that's not a bad thing. We'll have to grow closer. We'll have to spend more time together, helping each other, learning how best to cooperate with each other."

That all sounded good to him. But he was still worried about one more thing. "What if I fail to satisfy you? In the, uh, physical department? I've never really cared before…"

Paige's smile turned amused as his voice trailed off. "Is that what you're most nervous about? I could disappoint you too, you know. I hope that isn't a deal breaker for you. It's been years since anyone has seen me, uh," she cleared her throat and motioned toward her breasts, as his eyes widened and shot to the floor to avoid gravitating to less appropriate areas, "naked and up close and personal. I can tell you this; I'm very attracted to you. I've had a tough time keeping my hands to myself lately after we started down this path. I'll confess it's given me some steamy thoughts about you."

Walter looked up at that and his face relaxed into a crooked grin, "Thoughts, huh? I've had a few of those too. A-about you. I've-I've tried to educate myself on what might please you."

"I trust you," she said, her face flushing a becoming rosy color. "You learned how to hook someone up to a cardiac bypass machine from a You Tube video. I'm more than sure you've got this." She chuckled a little. A husky, throaty, suggestive laugh that he felt all the way down inside and it set his pulse thrumming.

His eyes were heavy lidded as they raked over her, then they blazed straight into hers when he said, "There is absolutely no way you could ever disappoint me in that regard. It's preposterous to even think like that."

Paige breathed his name and fisting the front of his shirt, tugged him against her body and planted her mouth squarely on his. Walter grunted a little from the impact and the surprise, but being quicker than most to catch on, he soon got into the spirit of things and kissed her right back. He brushed the inside of her bottom lip with his tongue and her mouth opened on a little gasp allowing him access.

Walter's head was spinning and he could hear every rapid beat of his heart throbbing in his ears as their tongues played, wrestling each other for dominance. Her hands stoked up his chest over the front of his shirt and her fingers slipped around his neck and wove themselves into his hair. One of his hands found her hip, pulling her even closer to him. The other… poured water down her back from the glass he forgot he was holding.

Paige yelped and jumped back. Still trying to get his bearings as if being awakened rudely from an intensely sexy dream, Walter wasn't sure what happened until he saw her swipe at the back of her sweater.

He set the glass down on an end table and sputtered an apology. Things were going so well, and then he had to spoil it. He felt so inept.

Until Paige flashed him a provocative smile and slowly pulled her wet shirt over her head.

Ho, boy.


	4. Chapter 4

**PROCREATION SCIENCE -**

 **A Misconception**

 **Chapter 4**

 **AN: Hang onto your hats. This chapter is suggestive and risqué. If that's not your thing, I won't be mad if you skip it. For those of you wanting full frontal smut, sorry. I don't go all the way. You'd have to buy me dinner first. ;-) I leave that to the experts in the fandom. Hope you aren't too disappointed and you enjoy the chapter anyway.**

Walter O'Brien was asleep in her bed. And he wasn't wearing a stitch.

Okay, so that happened.

Paige needed a minute or twenty to catch up. She was in the shower early on Sunday morning looking back over the phenomenon of a very peculiar and incredible and eventful weekend. One could even say extremely 'busy' even though they never left her condo.

It started off a little awkward. Of course it did. It was a strange set of circumstances. And it was… Walter.

After the man poured water down her back and she had the bright idea to rip her shirt off in front of him, he froze. Like a genius version of Michelangelo's David. Only with clothes. He stared at her so long, she worried an aneurism had exploded in that great, big brain of his or a circuit blew or something.

When she started to feel a little cold and exposed, she pressed her shirt against her chest and asked, "Hey, Walter? Are you okay?"

Eyes wide, he shook his head as if coming out of a trance and pivoted around, turning his back to her. Then the stuttering started. "I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean… I mean, I did mean… I was assuming… but of course you'd need to-to change. Your-your shirt is, uh, w-wet." He said all of that in half a second, max.

Trying to be patient, she stated, "If we're going to do this, you're eventually going to have to get comfortable with me undressing in front of you." Paige wasn't sure if she was capable of towing him out of another nervous wreck, so she hoped her boldness hadn't driven him all the way back to square one. If anything she had more reasons to be fearful than he did. She knew exactly what being a parent entailed, after all. Not to mention, she was about to get naked in front of her boss.

His back still toward her but sounding a little less jumpy, he answered, "I wasn't sure if-if you were taking off your sweater for my benefit or if you were just uncomfortably wet."

Oh, she was uncomfortably wet alright, but it had nothing to do with the water he spilled on her shirt. She wisely chose not to share that fact. Instead she asked, "You wanna know what I think?"

Glancing over his shoulder but keeping his eyes firmly locked on her face, he nodded.

"I think we need to rip this bandage off. Just get it over with. The first time is going to be the weirdest, right? After that, we can work on things. Continue to get better. But I really think we just need to get this first one out of the way as soon as possible, so we can stop worrying about it."

Walter turned all the way around to face her then. "You mean you could critique my performance? Give me notes on how to improve? Then each time after that would be better. Hmm. Building my practical knowledge as well as work on my muscle memory. Logical. I like it." His demeanor lightened up considerably now that he had a plan and he began scanning all the horizontal surfaces in her living and dining room as if evaluating their stability.

Paige compressed her lips to keep from laughing at his hopeful expression. She responded with, "Something like that, I guess. But before you get any bright ideas about my dining room table or the kitchen counters, we will be taking this conversation to my bedroom. As soon as you turn off the stove. We'll have dinner later. Right now we have unfinished business." Still clutching her shirt over her breasts with one hand, she pointed toward the kitchen with the other and Walter obediently turned the heat off under the chili, stirred it and replaced the lid.

He _was_ very efficient. Uh, oh.

She shook her head to clear out all mental images of stop watches and she proceeded down the hall toward her bedroom. She could feel his eyes on her as he trailed behind.

Once inside, Paige shut the door. She had no idea why. No one else was there to walk in. It just felt more private. More intimate somehow.

She dropped her shirt to the floor and the genius' eyes dropped to her cleavage before he flushed and his gaze snapped back to meet her amused one. "It's okay to look. That's why we're here. Now it's your turn."

Paige closed the distance between them and immediately began unbuttoning his shirt while he watched her, hands at his sides, his breath coming out in short, staccato bursts. She smoothed her hands inside at his waist and glided them up and over his warm, solid chest. His involuntary little shudder made her feel confident and sexy. She pushed the garment off his shoulders and down his arms and… discovered she hadn't unbuttoned the cuffs. His shirt was turned wrong-side out and his hands were effectively trapped inside the sleeves. The more they tugged at them, the more they tightened. Just like a noose.

When he started to use his teeth, she started giggling.

"No, Walter. Stop. Just a minute," Paige said, grabbing his wrist.

The two of them wrestled his shirt back on. When she finally got the cuffs unbuttoned, he quickly flung the shirt off and away. And for a second her mouth went dry and she turned into a non-genius version of Venus de Milo. Only with arms. She put them to good use once she sufficiently recovered her wits.

In hindsight, Paige thought she probably should have seated herself on the bed to remove her half boots, but with the shirtless genius in her personal space she couldn't be blamed for being more than a bit idiotic. She hopped around in a circle on one foot then the other while unzipping and yanking off her footwear. For once, Walter wasn't compelled to correct the flaws in her methodology. His eyes were riveted on the parts of her that were bouncing and jiggling with each hop.

Before she could lose her nerve, she undid her pants, pushed them to her ankles and stepped out of them. She actually heard him swallow.

Paige looked up at Walter with a challenge in her eyes. Jerking a chin at his waistband, she said, "Your turn."

Nothing.

He just stood there blinking.

"Go on," she urged.

Blushing a fierce red, he replied with a note of a whine, "No?"

"I'm not going to stand here in my underwear all by myself. It's not fair."

All she got was an emphatic shake of his head.

With a determined look, she got to him in one stride and lowered her hands to the fastening of his pants. His eyes wide, his hands came down and covered hers and he whispered, "I can't."

Paige tsked, equal parts curious and annoyed with him. "Walter, it will be much easier to get to 'the main event' if we're both down to the bare essentials before we lay down." When he didn't budge, she rolled her eyes and added, "It's more _efficient_."

Cutting his eyes to one side, he mumbled something through his teeth that sounded like, "…not wearing any…"

Frowning as much from confusion as barely contained aggravation, she pinched the bridge of her nose and prompted, "You aren't wearing…?"

The word 'underwear' burst out of his mouth as if she pulled it out by force. Walter rubbed a hand down his face then explained, "My research shows it increases the, uh, sperm count if-if you go…without. I haven't worn any for more than two weeks. Ever since we decided on a date to-to, um, move forward."

Well.

What could she say to _that_? They looked at each other and grinned. Then Paige started snickering and before long the two of them were laughing themselves stupid.

Holding Walter's shoulder, she finally got ahold of herself and teased, "Well, nude up, genius boy! Let's get this party started."

He still refused to take his pants off at that time, but the two of them did manage to crawl onto the bed together after a tad more wrangling.

And, holy crap!

The man was both literally and metaphorically a genius in bed. Laser focus all on her, he seemed fascinated by her responses, mentally cataloging and collating each bit of experimental data, often repeating maneuvers to see if he got similar results. Although she both saw and felt the hard evidence he was eager for his own release, he appeared to be more interested in driving her to the brink of sanity first.

Once, he nearly killed the mood when he asked if she'd liked being 'orally stimulated'. But when he proceeded without her express consent, Paige found she didn't give two shits what he called it as long as he didn't stop.

He was surprisingly very sweet afterward. Walter rolled off to the side almost immediately to keep from crushing her. While her eyes were still shut and she was still trying to catch her breath, he trailed his fingertips softly over her arm and the curves of her waist and hip as if trying to memorize her shape and all her angles. She thought there might be some residual strangeness after the first time, but there wasn't. Instead of backing way off and retreating like she thought he might, he smiled shyly at her and stayed right next to her.

As the evening progressed into night, he often touched her without prompting. He would even kiss her tenderly on a shoulder or on the temple when she was doing ordinary things like serving up dinner or when she was helping him wash the dishes. It was like… he might… but he couldn't. Could he?

They made love, at least that's the way she began to view it, several more times throughout the night in between talking and making plans. They tried to watch a movie at one point, but ended up kissing through most of it. Just like a couple in love. Except he didn't believe in love.

Now she was physically sore in all the right places. Paige let the hot spray from the shower soothe away the aches in the muscles she hadn't worked out in ages, but no amount of hot water could soothe the ache in her heart.

How could she have been so stupid? How could she open herself up like this? Be vulnerable this way? She should have known sleeping with Walter would make her feelings for him rise to the surface. Become even stronger. She wasn't a genius. And being a normal like she was, Paige couldn't separate the science of trying to conceive a child from the emotions of being intimate. There was no denying it any more. Paige was deeply in love. What the hell was she supposed to do about it?

 **P.S. Yes, of course I stole 'Nude up, genius boy' from Ice Ca-Cabes. I couldn't resist. It had to be done by someone. And 'Logical. I like it.' Is a modified version of the conversation at the end of Sharknerdo.**

 **P.S.S.** **Again, thank you SO much for all the lovely reviews. Probably just one or two more chapters left. I won't be able to update until next week, but it's gonna be a long two week hiatus, so hopefully it'll give you something to look forward to?**


	5. Chapter 5

**PROCREATION SCIENCE – A MISCONCEPTION**

 **CHAPTER 5**

 **AN: Real life has been stupid crazy the last two weeks, so that's the excuse for the delay in updating this fic. But reality isn't usually as interesting as fan fiction, so here I am with my contribution to help us last through the eleven more days until the next new episode. (but who's counting) Oh, the torture!**

 **If this seems a little OOC for Walter, keep in mind he wasn't in the same place a year ago as he is now. He was a little more clueless then. As painful as this season has been, Walter has experienced a massive amount of growth.**

 **Walt-con 2: This chapter has a high angst warning, but I hope to bring it to a nice, fluffy conclusion in the next one.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

He came awake slowly, gradually dragging himself from the pleasant lethargy. It was a rare thing for him to be this relaxed, unless he'd recently been dosed with opiates after surgery or an accident of some kind.

His awareness of the surroundings seeped in as he stretched languidly. He felt… happy. Light. And it was stupendous. A self-satisfied smile extended lazily across his face. He could certainly get used to waking up in this state. And if the Genius 2.0 Project was to be a success, he could count on many more mornings just like this one. He congratulated himself for having such a brilliant idea.

While Walter was mentally patting himself on the back, Paige walked out of the bathroom, a gust of humid air trailing in her wake. He knew it wasn't a logical supposition, thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world. But in that instant, when he was struck speechless, he would have sworn on his life there couldn't be anyone in existence, past or present, more lovely than her. Even in a thick terry bathrobe with her damp hair twisted into a towel turban, she was incredible.

It took him a minute to realize something was off. She wasn't smiling and she had her arms wrapped around her torso protectively. She wouldn't look at him. He experienced a sinking sensation, the former elation dissipating as quickly as the steam from Paige's shower. He suddenly felt uncomfortably naked.

"Good morning," Walter greeted her cautiously, pulling the sheets up to cover his bare chest as he lounged against the pillows at the head of her bed. Gauging her emotions was a little like deciphering hieroglyphics without the Rosetta Stone.

Paige didn't answer him right away because she had begun to move about the room, picking up and folding the clothing scattered across the floor as if she was hiding the evidence. "Oh, uh, hey," she finally said distractedly.

Still averting her gaze as she rifled through the chest of drawers presumably looking for something to wear, Paige said, "I need to go get Ralph soon, so you should probably get ready to leave. I put your clothes on the end of the bed there." She stepped briskly across the carpet, went back into the bathroom and shut the door firmly behind her. A second later, Walter heard a click as she pressed the lock into place.

Well.

Just like that he was being dismissed?

Doing a quick review of their last 'interaction', his mind scrambled around trying to figure out what he might have done wrong. Did he leave her unsatisfied? That couldn't be the problem. He would swear he'd brought her to completion before he let himself go. Twice, in fact.

Walter would have donated half his brain to science then and there if he could just have a drop of EQ to figure out what the complication might be. She'd promised she would critique him. Tell him if he wasn't doing what she wanted. Hadn't they agreed to that?

He was still sitting on the bed puzzling when she emerged fully dressed a few minutes later, her freshly combed hair hanging lank around her shoulders, the tips leaving darker, wet dots freckling her shirt.

"What did I do?" He blurted, confusion and hurt giving an edge to the clipped words, "I thought everything was progressing according to our plan."

Paige compressed her lips and shut her eyes for a moment as if trying to gather herself. "I think this whole thing may have been a mistake, Walter."

A frisson of fear wriggled its way down his spine, so he buried it in impatience. "But… But you agreed. The project is already well under way. You accepted this experiment would be mutually beneficial. I-I don't understand your reticence now."

Walter watched helplessly as tears filled her already reddened eyes. He was alarmed when he concluded it probably wasn't the first time she'd been crying that morning.

Refocusing her gaze on the floor, her voice gruff, she answered, "See, that's the whole problem. You view this as an experiment, a project, a way to achieve a goal. I just… can't. To be physically," she swallowed hard, "…intimate with someone… someone I, well... I need to have strong feelings for... because it means a lot more to me than that. I can't separate the two. I'm sorry. I never should have done this."

Walter knew his heart didn't really drop, because he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. But he couldn't logically reconcile the hollow ache he felt in his chest either. If he didn't know better, he would say a heart was fully capable of being shattered. He sat staring at the sad and gorgeous woman standing at the foot of the bed while his mind was whirring in high gear, searching for the right words to say to repair the damage. He needed to fix this. The only thing he could come up with was, "You-you do realize we may have already succeeded in making a child, right?" When she didn't answer, he kept talking, "I mean statistically that's not likely, but the possibility exists…"

"I think you should go," she interrupted in a whisper.

His mouth quietly said, "Okay," while his mind was screaming, "NO! Please! I can't stand to leave things like this!" But he expressed none of that.

Paige left the bedroom while he got dressed. As he fumbled into his clothes, he replayed every nuance, every nanosecond of the last sixteen hours. Did he fail somehow to communicate to her how important all this was to him? Walter had physical encounters with other women before. After which he always left as quickly as possible often to the point of being unintentionally discourteous.

But everything had always been different with Paige. He couldn't get enough of being close to her. Especially now. And not just sexually. In every way. He couldn't stop himself from touching her when she was near, caressing her or kissing her when she was within reach. And he wanted to know everything about her. Everything she was thinking. Everything she was feeling. He found her endlessly fascinating and surprising. Didn't she know how significant that was? He'd never met another human quite like her.

Like a tidal wave, another terrible thought swamped him, the deluge nearly drowning him and squeezing all the air from his lungs.

Love. It was real. Walter was in love.

And it hurt like hell.


	6. Chapter 6

**PROCREATION SCIENCE – A MISCONCEPTION**

 **CHAPTER 6**

 **AN: I lied.** **There will be one more chapter to wrap things up. You can try to sue and take my keyboard, but then it will be even longer til I finish...**

 **This chapter is dedicated to stars90 who wanted a mention of the significance of another scene in White Out. This one's for you, my friend. Hope you like what I did with it. **

**oOoOoOoOoOo**

"What the hell did you do to 197, Paige?"

She jumped guiltily. She was groggy from lack of sleep and so lost in her own thoughts, mostly involving worry over encountering Walter, she hadn't heard Toby's approach. Schooling her features, Paige turned from the kitchen counter where she had been pouring herself a much-needed cup of bracing, caffeinated coffee. Her first hit in weeks. She had no clue what the shrink already knew and she didn't want to give him any more material if she could help it. Slipping on her best innocent mask, she replied stiffly, "I have no idea what you mean. I haven't even seen him this morning."

The last statement was true at least. After pulling into the lot behind the garage, Paige sat in her car for a full ten minutes trying to work up the nerve to face Walter after everything that had transpired over the weekend. She was terrified she would either burst into tears when she saw him, or worse, grab him by the ears and kiss the hell out of him until he admitted love was real and he was right there in it with her. She had never felt more conflicted in her life. Fortunately or unfortunately, she couldn't decide which, Walter wasn't downstairs when she'd finally gathered enough courage to actually walk inside.

Paige was well aware she and Walter couldn't leave their relationship in limbo like they did when he'd silently gathered his things and left her apartment. Was it just the day before? It seemed like forever ago. And she still didn't feel ready to confront the issue. The last thing she needed was The Curious Dr. Curtis interfering before she worked things out on her own.

"Oh, I'm fairly certain the bug crawled up his butt sometime over the weekend," Toby said with a smirk, one eyebrow raised knowingly, "So I need to know the source of the little pest so we can figure out how to exterminate it before anyone else besides me gets stung."

Not in the mood for his prying, but needing to find out what, if anything, Walter might have said to Toby, Paige squelched her impatience and asked, "Why? What happened?"

"Well, when I got here this morning, he was sitting at his desk staring off into space looking like he'd just come off a three day bender. You know, eyes all bloodshot and looking like he slept in his clothes and he'd combed his hair in a wind tunnel. It was a little scary because it was a whole lot like how he used to get after spending a weekend in that crackpot Collins' company. I had to say his name four times just to get a response out of him. I asked him how his weekend was and he just sneered and told me it was _fine_. Which clearly meant it wasn't. Okay, rude is not untypical of Walter. I can live with that. Evasive. Also not unusual. But then I asked him if he knew what time you were coming in. Next thing I know, his coffee mug hits the brick wall by the door. He told me to 'shut up for once' and he high tailed it up the stairs. Haven't seen him since. I figured because it was your name that was the catalyst for his little burst of very un-Walter-like temper, you just might be the source of that proverbial bug," Toby narrowed his eyes at her furious blush, he grinned evilly and finished with, "Tell me, did you get anywhere near Walter's butt this weekend?"

Paige's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, convinced the behaviorist could read every detail of her and Walter's sex-capades written all over her face.

"Oh, boy," Toby's eyes got as wide as saucers, and he hissed, "You guys did the nasty? You did, didn't you?" His wide Cheshire cat grin gave way into almost maniacal laughter until he saw her eyes filling. Unable to breathe much less utter a coherent word, she turned away to go back to her desk.

Gently, he stopped her by tugging at her elbow. When she saw his look of empathy instead of his earlier mocking one, it was her undoing. Her face crumpled and she started sobbing all over his shoulder while he patted her back awkwardly. "Oh, c'mon. It can't be as bad as all that," he looked a little sick when he added, "I bet Whopper O'Brain has a few decent moves?"

That startled a huff of watery laughter out of Paige. "Quite a bit more than a few. I might even say he's a genius at it, if you really want to know the truth," she sniffled, her smile trembling as she enjoyed the nauseated look on Toby's face. He definitely didn't want to know _that_ truth.

Paige grabbed a paper towel and began to dab at the mascara streaks under her eyes.

"I'm guessing he got scared and bailed then? Or did he say something stupid afterwards, like 'It meant nothing. It's just a biological drive that resulted in the requisite physical release' or something to that effect?"

Toby mimicked Walter so well, Paige had to laugh, but then she shook her head sadly. "I hate to admit this, but it was me that panicked. I… kicked him out before he got the chance to say those things, because I was _sure_ he was going to say those things. Does that make any sense?"

"In a way, I guess. Well… no, not really. It was kinda stupid. But somewhat understandable given his inability to process emotion. Here. Sit. I'm going to explain something to you," Toby pulled out a kitchen chair and motioned for her to sit down. Then he took the seat opposite her and leaned toward her slightly. She leaned in too, waiting for him to impart his ultra-smart shrink wisdom. He slapped her forehead with the heel of one hand.

"Hey! What was that for?!" Paige scooted back, frowning and appearing indignant.

"Let me remind you of something. Do you remember when Happy was lost in that blizzard in Antarctica?"

"Yes. Okay. So?" She answered, rubbing at her forehead and still looking resentful.

"My first instinct was to go after her. Both Walter and Cabe tried to talk me out of it. Were you listening when I persuaded Walt to let me go? Do you remember the argument I used to convince him?"

"We were a little busy here. I don't recall if I heard your conversation specifically."

"Walter reassured me he wouldn't let his friend die and we would go after her as soon as the job was finished. I told him Happy might be his friend, but she is the love of my life. And when he still didn't want me to go, I threw something else at him. I said 'if Paige was out there, would you go back to the hut?' He told me to be careful and he released me immediately. Do you know what that says to me?"

Eyes wide, Paige could only shake her head slowly.

"Okay, I'll spell it out for you. Here it is: He understands and empathizes with me about my feelings of love and protectiveness for Happy when I compare the two of you. And the reason for that? Any guesses?"

"Ohh," Paige breathed.

"Uh, huh. That's it. The light dawns. He may not be all the way there, but if he hasn't realized it yet, he's damn close. If you want more evidence, there's probably still plenty of ceramic shards in the bricks by the front door. Paige, you have a rare opportunity here. You can help him find his way, or you can let him flounder. Your choice."

"He loves me. I'm a moron," Paige muttered to herself. Then she jumped out of her chair and made a beeline for the stairs without a backward glance. While Toby called, "You're welcome," at her back.


	7. Chapter 7

**PROCREATION SCIENCE – A MISCONCEPTION**

 **CHAPTER 7**

 **AN: This chapter teeters on the edge of 'M' in a couple of paragraphs. You have been forewarned. There will be a short epilogue after this because even though I left Waige in a good place, there's a pretty significant loose thread that needs to be sewed up.**

 **Disclaimer: This author is not responsible for damages to any reader's computer equipment due to spewage of any kind. HaHaHaHa! Some of your reviews make me laugh so much! They _all_ make my day better! Thank you!**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

He scolded himself silently. He was disgusted with his earlier outburst in front of Toby. It was uncalled for and completely illogical. It solved nothing.

He recognized he also needed to go downstairs and clean up the mess. Not only the shattered mug and its contents, but Walter knew he should try to divert the shrink's attention away from analyzing a situation that wasn't his business, before he made it his business to intervene.

But _she_ might be down there now. And he wasn't ready to face her. He didn't know if he'd ever be ready.

In retrospect, his brilliant plan wasn't all that brilliant. It was pretty basic as it turned out. Pretty ordinary. Normal even. It took hours of exhaustive analysis and uncomfortable introspection to figure out the real reason it appealed to him in the first place. It wasn't because he thought Ralph deserved a sibling like Megan, although that certainly was a factor. And it wasn't because he wanted DNA and characteristics similar to Megan's to live on through his progeny, even though those outcomes would be favorable as well. It wasn't even due to the tremendous attraction he felt toward _her_ , even though it was much stronger than anything he'd felt toward any other human in all his thirty-two years. Those all made good arguments in favor, but they weren't at the root of his motivation.

Truth be told, her statement about wanting a sibling for Ralph wasn't the first time the idea crossed his mind either. The origin of the thought process could be pinpointed to the case when they 'got Paige pregnant' to break into the UN. Even if it was false, the sight of her in that condition sparked something primal in him.

And all of it boiled down to one simple bit of rationale. No amount of logic could touch it. No amount of rationalizations could refute it. Not for lack of effort on his part.

The fact was, Walter loved her.

He wanted to make a family with her. And Ralph. He wanted to be a permanent part of their lives. And the impulse had become stronger since Megan died. He missed having a connection like that.

He sorely wished he hadn't made that promise to be less reckless, because what he needed more than anything was a shot of pure adrenaline to get him out of his head space. He couldn't find a solution, he was unable to think of a way to proceed and the consistent barrage of disquieting thoughts was slowly driving him mad.

It appeared love was a problem that couldn't be resolved.

Walter rubbed his aching temples and stared at the home screen on his laptop to keep up the pretense of doing something productive. He'd tried several distraction techniques throughout the night with little to no success. So he slapped his computer shut with a growl.

That's when Paige walked in, of course.

The sight of her sent a jolt straight through him and he froze, just staring. His perfect memory bombarded him with vivid images of her sleepy and satisfied and disheveled in the aftermath of their sexual encounters and he unintentionally took mental inventory of all her curves and angles, his fingers aching to retrace them. He had to look away from her, sure the visions were going to damage his mind's eye like staring at the sun too long could cause blindness.

Paige hovered in the doorway for a few seconds before hesitantly stepping into his living room. She stopped just a foot or two shy of the end of the couch where he sat. Walter would have sensed her nearness even if he couldn't see the tips of her shoes in his peripheral vision. He was vibrating like a tuning fork in awareness of her presence. Similar to a radio built to receive waves of only one frequency.

Her quiet, "Hey," startled him as if it was a cannon blast.

"Can we talk for a few minutes?" Paige asked when he didn't respond.

Walter thought, ' _I can't',_ but his mouth said, "Okay." His brain was obviously not in command of his body, since he scooted over making room for her on the sofa too.

She settled in beside him making a fuss over the placement of her skirt around her then worrying the hem with nervous fingers. "I'm sorry this is so awkward. It's my fault. I made a huge mistake."

Walter's palpitating heart sunk like a stone. So, she was just going to reiterate their previous conversation? How was that going to make things better or less strange between them? He clenched his jaw for a beat to keep the acidic nature of his answer to a minimum. "You said as much yesterday. No need to repeat it. I understood the first time."

"No, Walter. That isn't the mistake I mean. It wasn't even the mistake I meant then, but I didn't realize it until Toby…"

His eyes flew to hers. "Toby?! You told Toby about… about…"

Paige laid a hand on his arm and the fists he didn't know he'd clenched began to slowly relax. "He guessed as soon as he saw me. I didn't go into details, don't worry. But he did help me see something big I missed."

He angled his body toward hers relishing the little bit of contact and warmth he was getting from her fingers clutching at his shirt sleeve. How odd to have touch aversion with almost everyone else, but hers was like heroin and he was a total junkie. Stupid, inconvenient love.

"What?" Walter rasped through his suddenly tight throat. He cleared it and started over, "What did he help you see?"

Her tender smile reminded him of her kisses, and he had to look away before he did something purely idiotic. She answered, "The actual reason we started this whole thing."

"What's that?" He prompted, his interest piqued. What conclusions had she drawn? Were they the same as his?

"We've admitted to being attracted to each other, to caring about each other, but saying those things wasn't too risky. We were always too cautious to try a real relationship. We both have abandonment issues. We both don't want to risk Scorpion or Ralph or… ourselves. This was a way for us to be a couple without being a couple. Right?"

"That sounds fairly… accurate. But if-if we were successful in deluding ourselves in that regard, why did you want to stop?" He hated how needy he sounded.

"Because I saw pretty quickly what it all really meant to me. Everything was so intense and so wonderful and so much what I wanted... what I've wanted for a very long time that I was afraid. I was afraid it wasn't the same for you. I didn't want to be in l-… to feel… all that by myself." Profound relief flooded him with her words and hope flared to life.

Covering her hand with his, Walter's eyes bravely met hers and he murmured. "You were afraid I didn't love you? You've never needed to worry about that."

Paige's mouth formed a perfect 'O' of astonishment and he couldn't resist the urge a minute longer. He closed the distance and kissed her right on those shocked lips. It only took her half a second to recover and wrap herself around him, kissing him back and exploring his mouth with her own. Neither much cared that it was business hours and they were on the clock or that the rest of the crew was downstairs. Being close again felt so overwhelmingly good.

Her skirt rode up her thighs when she moved to straddle his lap. And they groaned into each other's open mouths when her warm softness came in contact with his answering hardness. She gasped when he instinctively nudged against her. Only a few layers of damp fabric separated them from being where they truly wanted to be. Needed to be. His fingers dug into her hips as he pulled her impossibly closer. His hands slipped from her hips and crawled their way under the back of her shirt, and she bit his ear in retaliation then smoothed it with her tongue. Walter pressed his palms on her back bringing her chest flush with his, breathing love words into her neck.

"Uh, gross!" Happy's outburst put a halt to their frenetic petting, thankfully before clothing started coming off. The mechanic whipped around, her back to the couple on the couch. "Can we make a new company policy? No groping during work hours. I may be scarred for life."

"Sorry," Walter muttered unrepentantly while Paige bit her lips to stop the embarrassed giggles from escaping.

"Okay, well if the two of you are done, Cabe is here and he's got a case for us."

"Understood," Walter said a little sourly, "We'll be down in a minute."

"You realize they are going to have a field day with this, right?" Walter sighed after Happy tromped loudly back down the stairs.

"That's okay. I'm ready to tell anyone who will listen that we're together and I love you, Walter O'Brien. And if they still give us a hard time? I'll bring out my secret weapon." Paige stood up and straightened her clothes while her boyfriend watched grinning in pleasure at her declaration.

When his thinking caught up to her last statement, he inquired, "What secret weapon?"

"Oh, I saw them coming out of the Airstream early one morning last week. Let's just say my ears are still blistered from what I overheard beforehand."

"WHAT?!"

It was Paige's turn to kiss the appalled expression off Walter's face. Then grabbing his hand, she led him toward the doorway.

Time to face the music. Together.


	8. Epilogue

**PROCREATION SCIENCE – A MISCONCEPTION**

 **EPILOGUE**

 **AN: Here is the epilogue as promised. High fluff warning for this one, but the Waige shippers need a fix now and then, so you gotta give me a pass.**

 **Many thanks to all my reviewers. You are genuinely appreciated. Your reviews are the main reason I publish these little bits of nonsense.**

 **OXOXOXOXOXO**

"He looks like an alien."

His nose wrinkled and his head tilted to one side, Ralph Dineen sat in the rocking chair holding his new baby brother and peering intently into the infant's face, giving him a thorough inspection. "His nose is crooked and his head is more conical or… cylindrical than spherical. And he's all red and blotchy. Are babies supposed to look like this?"

Walter chuckled quietly at the older boy's assessment before explaining, "The birth process is almost as traumatic for the baby as it is for the mother, you know. I bet you looked similar the day you were born. The doctor said his features will return to normal in a day or two."

"My babies have both been perfectly beautiful," Paige piped up sleepily from over on the bed, her voice still slightly thready from exhaustion.

He couldn't imagine what she must be feeling, because Walter had never been so unbelievably tired in his life. The labor had been rather long, but thankfully uneventful. He spent the whole time fussing over Paige. Fetching and carrying whatever she required during those hours her body worked so hard to bring their son into the world. His respect for her and all women grew with each passing minute during the whole process.

"It's okay. Extraterrestrials are cool. We can call him Yoda. Yoda O'Brien. Or Spock." The boy genius snickered at his own cleverness as he gently rolled the baby's soft left ear into a miniature elfin point. Still smiling, he admired the tiny, pliable ear for a moment before asking, "Are you sure he's ours? They didn't mix him up with anyone else's kid or anything, right?"

The older genius grinned widely as he stood next to the rocking chair. In addition to the profound weariness he felt a keen sense of pride and love, the depth of which could never be quantified. He only knew he was so full of both, it was impossible to contain any more.

"Well, he's spent his whole life in this room. All three hours and forty-six minutes of it. He hasn't left once, so you can rest assured. He's ours." In a way, it felt like Walter's whole life was in this room too. At least the most important aspects.

Walter leaned around Ralph and brushed the newborn's silken cheek with an index finger. The baby blinked awake and his face screwed up into a little pout. He squinted at his big brother's face, struggling to bring it into focus while his fingers curled around one of Ralph's, his grip surprisingly strong.

"Yep. He's all ours," Ralph whispered with something close to awe as he smiled softly at the newest member of his forever family.


End file.
